The Perfect Life
by whotookmycheese
Summary: "She had never loved anything as much as she loved Rory. She loved her so much it hurt. She reached her hand and touched lightly the chubby cheek. Rory wrinkled her nose, jawned and opened her eyes so similar to her mother's that it made her heart swell even more. The child looked up to her mother, a child herself, and smiled." What Lorelai was thinking before she left home.


**A/N:** I wrote this some time ago but was too scared to publish it. I just hope I won't regret this. Please leave a comment if you liked it, or if you didn't! Thank you!

 **Disclaimer:** I wish but no, Gilmore Girls don't belong to me.

 **The Perfect Life**

At Gilmore residence nothing less than perfect was acceptable. Lorelai had learnt this years ago. There were punch of rules to follow, her mother had written them down and given the book (yes, a book!) to her the day she learnt to read. She didn't read it, so her mother had to tell her constantly what Gilmores should or shouldn't do.

 _"_ _Gilmores don't run, Lorelai!"_

 _"_ _Gilmores wash behind their ears, Lorelai!"_

 _"_ _Gilmores eat all their vegetables, Lorelai!"_

 _"_ _Gilmores don't scream, Lorelai!"_

And Gilmores do not, not in any circumstances, get pregnant at sixteen, Lorelai!

Well, too bad that she hadn't said it _before_ she got pregnant at sixteen.

She knew she had screwd up. She felt it painfully well in every look her father gave her and every word that came out from her mother's mouth. She didn't need them to remind her how disappointed they were with their daughter. All her life her mother had reminded her how imperfect she was.

 _"_ _You could at least try, but no! You insist to ignore my guidelines!"_

 _"_ _Your guidelines? You're seriously calling them guidelines?"_

 _"_ _Yes!"_

 _"_ _They're not guidelines, Mum! They're laws! And if I dare break them, there's a death sentence waiting for me!"_

 _"_ _Lorelai!"_

But maybe she was right, Lorelai thought. There was probably not one rule she hadn't broken at least once. She had escaped from the dinners

 _"_ _Where have you been?"_

 _"_ _Out."_

 _"_ _The Millers were here and they were expecting to see you."_

 _"_ _I forgot."_

 _"_ _You did't forget, you knew they were coming today! Lorelai, don't you walk away when I'm talking to you!_

swam in her pink ribbon-lace-girly-swingdress

 _"_ _Now look what you've done, Lorelai. This dress is completely ruined. And don't you smile at me like that. It was an expensive dress and your father worked hard to pay for it. You got to stop acting like a child."_

 _"_ _But I am a child."_

 _"_ _That doesn't mean you can act like one. Do you think Cindy Jameson swims with her dress on?"_

 _"_ _Cindy's afraid of water. She doesn't go out if it rains."_

 _"_ _And neither should you, young lady."_

 _"_ _I bet Cindy doesn't even drink water."_

 _"_ _Lorelai..."_

been rude to guests

 _"_ _Good evening, mr Randall. Did you come with your wife or with your secretary?"_

 _"_ _Lorelai!"_

smoked in the bathroom

 _"_ _What's that in your hand? Are you smoking?"_

 _"_ _No, Mum. There was this guy with really long, black hair and eyeliner and he climbed in through the window and put this in my hand and then jumped out."_

 _"_ _Lorelai..."_

drawn dirty pictures on the newspaper before her father could read it

 _"_ _What does this even -. Lorelai!"_

left clothes all around the house

 _"_ _Take your dirty clothes to the laundrybasket!"_

 _"_ _Aren't the maids here to do that?"_

 _"_ _Don't start that with me, missy! You know far too well that ladies do not leave their laundry on the floor!"_

 _"_ _Yet another reason why I don't want to be a lady."_

refuced to come down when guests arrived

 _"_ _Lorelai, come down this instant or I swear you're in big trouble!"_

and hidden worms, frogs, mice, bugs and any other small animals her mother was scared of into her bed(room)

 _"_ _LORELAI!"_

She had been grounded more times than she remembered but she had not once stayed in the house, but climbed out of the window and ran. Her mother hated her because of that and she hated her mother for hating her.

She had grown to live with her role as the imperfect Gilmore, the failure no one wanted their sons to marry. Her mother not once forgot to remind her that she was a disappointment, the one who

 _"_ _Can't you do anything right?"_

And she couldn't understand it.

Yes, she was horrible, bad behaved, ruined girl who's life was doomed to be a disaster since she said she wouldn't marry Christopher. But she had succeeded in something, she had made something perfect.

She had made Rory.

Of course, there was this thing with the name.

 _"_ _You can't name her after yourself!"_

 _"_ _Why not? Men do it all the time! If I was a boy, I would be Richard Junior!"_

 _"_ _Don't be ridiculous."_

 _"_ _She's my daughter, Mum! She's my daughter and if I want to name her after myself, I will name her after myself!"_

because of course there was nothing she did right with the baby either. She was incapable even name her own child, according to her mother.

Lorelai pulled the zip to close the bag and moved to lean against the crib. She watched the sleeping baby and smiled. She had never loved anything as much as she loved Rory. She loved her so much it hurt. She reached her hand and touched lightly the chubby cheek. Rory wrinkled her nose, jawned and opened her eyes so similar to her mother's that it made her heart swell even more. The child looked up to her mother, a child herself, and smiled. Rory was so perfect; where as all the other kids would wake up with a cry, Rory woke up with a smile. She reached her tiny arms to her and she picked her up and hid her nose to her brown hair. She smelled like milk and baby powder and just a tiny bit of poo, and that was the best smell in the universe.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore", she whispered to the baby's cheek. "You are perfect just the way you are. Don't you ever forget that, okay? And Mommy loves you more than anything in the whole wide world. You can do what ever you want, I know you can. I trust you with my whole heart. You are the best thing in my life and I am never going to let you down."

Rory took a handful of her hair and pulled lightly. Tears gathered to the corners of her eyes and she blinked them away.

"The world is out there and it is made for us, honey, you and me. We can make through anything as long as we have each other. We don't need anyone else."

She lifted Rory upper on her arm and picked up the bag from the floor. She didn't think of making the last glance around the room, but made it anyway. There were the posters of The Bangles, The Go-Gos and Metallica. There was the dollhouse she loved so much. There was the table she had wanted and which she had ruined by drawing and writing on it, just because Emily had also liked it. All the pictures, framed neatly, showing her the family she had grown with and was going to grow without. Nothing of this mattered. All she needed she had in her arms.

"Goodbye room", she said, kissed Rory and closed the door.

She laid Rory on the stroller. She made a small whine but still didn't cry as she left her alone for a moment to take the envelope to the dining room. Her fingers stayed on it for a while.

 _Dear Emily and Richard,_

 _I know how great disappointment I have been to you. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine._

 _Now you can pretend you never had a daughter. Maybe that'll make your live perfect._

 _Lorelai_

She pulled her hand away like the letter had burnt and wiped the stubborn tear away from her cheek. It was best for everyone that she left. This was the way she could have freedom, could give Rory freedom. She went to the stroller and smiled to the baby, who looked up at her with a serious expression, like she'd known what was going on inside her head. And she probably did; Lorelai knew her daughter was going to be beautiful and smart, the best kid in the world.

"It's gonna be good", Lorelai said out loud. "Our life. I may not be able to give you princessdresses or take you to Rome when you turn ten. I can't buy you a piano and a violin and a flute hoping that you might have the gift of playing that I don't have. I can't give you a pony when you turn five or feed you with cock au wine. But I promise, Rory, no matter what, our life's gonna be perfect."


End file.
